Do I need that?

You know that drawer in your house, the one that collects all the items that don't have a home?  The random pens, matchbooks, pack of gum, extra key to who knows what.  I am sure everyone has one, right?  The junk drawer!  Today was the day mine had to be cleaned out.  Not because I woke up with ambition to clean but because that one last item would not fit.  I tried with all my might.  I shook it a little, hoping the junk would settle. I pushed stuff this way and that, even shoved a little but this was the day.  The day I had to empty it and clean it out.  When I do this, I always find all sorts of treasures.  Today I found 4 pens- all my favorite ones! I found my missing fingernail clippers and a note my friend had given me a month back.  Fun treasures! Each one made me smile.  I also found some not so useful items.  A cell phone charger to a phone I no longer own.  A picture of some one else's dog, and an empty roll of tape.  And of course crumbs and dust.  I threw the trash out, cleaned the crumbs and began putting the items back in, very proud of my extra chore for the day.  As I was putting things back in all neat and tidy I picked up two knives. Out of habit I went to put them back in. I then realized what they were, what I use to use them for.  I hadn't used them in a very long time, forgot they where there even.    I don't have a use for them any longer, there is no need to have them in there, or anywhere.

I was thinking of my prayers at the end of the day.  When I clean out my junk drawer for the day with my Heavenly Father.  Giving over to HIM that poor attitude I had or the swear word I let fly in traffic or you fill in the blank.  I wonder how many times I pick those habits right back up and put them  inside my junk drawer?  I know that if I let HIM, HE will clean, renew, sweep out the crumbs, and throw out the items that are no longer useful.

I bought the lie!

I like to watch TV.  I am a  lover of mindless entertainment.  I enjoy the commercials even. My TV veiwing history includes ER, Grey's Anatomy, Friends, Will & Grace, Law & Order, NCIS, Without A Trace, Cheers, LA Law, MTV's Real World, and Survivor to name a few.  I have a new favorite.  I have been watching it for over a year now.  New season started about two months ago.  It's a drama, it's funny and has a good story line.  No big deal, one hour out of my week.  Entertains me.  

BUT...you knew that was coming.....I am slowly starting to see it differently.  To see all of TV differently.  This new show has me thinking about the lie Hollywood has been feeding me.  Not force feeding, I have been gobbling up it for years.  And I have enjoyed every bit of it!  Gone back for seconds.  On a recent episode the main character, a married woman, has an affair.  The scene is graphic, more than it needed to be to get the point across. And I watched every second.  But for the first time in my life I thought "Oh NO that couldn't happen.  That didn't, couldn't happen that way.  Someone would be in traction if it did!"  LIE! 

In the episode after that, the woman is in therapy..DUH! For an hour I listened to her explain how this affair was the first time she has ever felt loved, the first time she has felt alive!  She talked about her childhood, about her first marriage and how her life is falling apart currently and this guy made her feel vibrant, he cherishes her.  Her story was so compelling, her past so full of heartache I agreed!  I get it! I thought "You go girl, have that affair, let that guy love you! Wait....WHAT?? 

I bought the lie!  

I know the feeling she is looking for. I know that the result of what she did was not true love.  I have searched for love, for that alive feeling, to feel admired, to feel on top of the world.  I get it.  The world tells us, tells me, that this is how you get it.  I know through personal experience that sinning is never the way to happiness. Never!

The truth is, there is only ONE who gives me that.  I can describe to you in detail when it first happened.  When I knew without a doubt that I was loved, that I mattered! My God fills me up with life.  HE loves me and that is better than any drink, drug, or sex I could ever experience.

I am not throwing out my TV. Get real!  I will probably still watch my show, might fast forward though some scenes.  But I think I will turn the set off a little more often. Heck I might even read a book.