Sometimes I fall

 

A few weeks ago I was walking with my friend to pick up her granddaughter at the church nursery. It’s something we do almost every week.   The whole family meets there in between church services and coos over the sweet baby.   So when we passed by the infants room

I said “hey you missed it”…my friend said “no, she is in the toddler room now.” “Oh” I said. Like of course, I knew that. 

Then I asked “how do you know when it’s time to move your infant into the toddlers’ room?”  She stated what most of you are thinking,

 “When she toddles.”

I have been thinking about the word toddle.  And I have been watching this sweet little toddler in my life. I have said it once and I will say it again she is my favorite one in this family. She delights in the simple things, peek-a-boo, being pulled around on a blanket on the hardwood floor, and blueberries. I have been watching her toddle.  She started like most children, after crawling; she started standing holding onto the nearest couch or leg. She would grasp the fingers of a willing adult and walk with them, not daring to let go.  Not yet. She would then try to stand not holding onto anything, a few seconds then reach back for the couch.  Then a few more seconds, and a step, falling right on her buns. Can you picture it?  Shocked at first maybe, but taking stock of everything, it didn’t hurt and the desire to try again overshadowed the fear of falling again. 

I sometimes wonder if she even thinks she might fall again or is that an adult fear; afraid to try because we might fail.

Before long there she was toddling all over the place; in one room one minute and out the other side; quick and mobile. “Who’s watching the baby” became an active job now not just a ‘sit on the couch and make sure she doesn’t choke on her cheerios’ job.

 I like ‘who’s watching the baby’ games. I say games because if you play it right you can get out of lots of horrible, downright dreadful chores if you ‘watch the baby’.  I have five older brothers they married and brought home wives who I adore and children who I love beyond words. I learned quickly that if I volunteer for ‘baby watch’ right after dinner I could get out of kitchen clean up. "I would love to help but I have the baby, sorry." Then when the house is put back together you give the baby up. “I’ve had her for the last hour it’s your turn”

So after dinner I love to watch this little bean Sunday afternoons. This time around I am learning so much.  I watch her toddle and fall, get back up and toddle some more.  She takes a corner too fast one time and slows down the next.  I get to see her learn step by step, literally.  I watch as she explores her surroundings daring to go a little further from mom and dad but always looking back to see that they are still there.

When she falls, when she makes a misstep, I never hear her parents say  

“that’s it Eva, if you fall one more time 

we are through with you!”  

I never hear them say 

“Oh my word you fell AGAIN!”  

 Sometimes they come to her rescue, pick her up, brush her off and send her on her way.  Sometimes, they cheer for her from across the room; reminding her she can get up and try again.  Reminding her she knows how, and “its ok” rings through the house often.  Sometimes when the fall is bad, when it involves her head hitting the floor they come running and scoop her up kissing her boo boos, holding her tight. 

I fall sometimes. 

I misstep. 

I miss the mark. 

 I take a corner too fast and down I go.  Sometimes I hear my own voice say,

“You did it AGAIN! Always messing up!”  

 “When will you ever learn?”

And then I listen to the truth, the voice that matters,

My Heavenly Father.   

And I hear different.  

 I hear 

“For all have sinned, and come short of the 

glory of God” (Romans 3:23).  

And 

“My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous.” (1 John 2:1) 

And

I hear HIM say to me, HIS daughter, 

"Come to Me. Come, just as you are. Come, this moment. 

Come, and be saved."